Infant Loss

Every Season

Every Season

Ecclesiastes 3 has always been somewhat of a touchstone passage for me. When things seem to be crumbling I try to remind myself that it is just a season and things will get better. It can be hard to stay positive when it seems like the troubles keep coming one after another. In fact it becomes incredibly easy to start going backwards and list out every thing that has gone wrong in the past year, two years, even five years. 

Counting it ALL Joy

Counting it ALL Joy

This Sunday will be James’s first birthday. There will be no smash cake, no adorable photo shoot, no big party to celebrate our baby getting another year older. Just reminders of all of the things we missed out on this year. No first laughs, no sleepless nights because he isn’t feeling well, no tummy time or learning to crawl. 

Unrest

Unrest

My heart is so heavy. The past few weeks have been full of moments that slam the breath right out of me and drop me to my knees with overwhelming grief. Two weeks ago, in the middle of an ordinary day, something as simple as a promotional mailer set my world in a bit of a tailspin that I haven't pulled out of yet.

#projectmended

#projectmended

I gritted my teeth as I raised my arms above my head and threw the black trash bag to the ground. I heard the shattering of clay and watched the bag break to release a few larger pieces of the pot. The emotional release brought me to tears. I'd been waiting six weeks to break something.